It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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