I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
