Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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