and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
