There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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