Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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