weddingsv make me drug and hornr
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
