i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
