i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
