i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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