maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
