Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
