using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
