I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
