Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
