Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize
