If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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