how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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