Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
