If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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