Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
