I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
