Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
