So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
