All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
