I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
