She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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