You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
