She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
