After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
