Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
