where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
