You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
