Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
