So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
