I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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