More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
