dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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