that's an acceptable place to lick
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
