Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
