Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
