Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
