Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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