Cold hands, warm shart.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
