guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
