Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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