So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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