she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
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