I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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