She's JV to your varsity
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's blow job season.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
